


Bacon Sandwiches

by Bioluminescent



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, No animals were harmed in the making of this fic, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 05:10:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3965617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bioluminescent/pseuds/Bioluminescent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short attack on New York involving angry pigs that may or may not fly and a little surprise for the newly expanded Avengers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bacon Sandwiches

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a quick little one shot (probably) that got written sometime during school, but here you go.
> 
> No beta, but my good friend WriteThroughTheNight did a read through.

Steve is surprised and pleased when all the Avengers assemble to defend New York on her next attack. Clint rolls his eyes at his hopeful expression, Phil hiding a smile in the corners of his eyes behind him as they zip past in a jeep, Clint taking out some of the mutant pigs currently laying waste to the city.

“Heya, Cap. Didjya miss us?” Steve snorts at Clint's jaunty voice, ignoring the high pitched squeals of one pig as he swings his shield in a wide arch around him.

“Of course I have Hawkeye.”

His reply is cut short with the roaring of repulsors and the faint scent of bacon. The pigs are obviously angered at this and most of them leave the battle on the ground to launch themselves at Tony.

“Well, fuck.” Tony straightens quickly on the ground before blasting off into the air, more pigs spreading their dirty wings to make their chase.

“I do not believe that this is supposed to happen, Captain.” Steve nods his head, looking around and spotting the Scarlet Witch giving her thanks to Vision as he gently drops her to the ground. In a flash of red, a large portion of the pigs chasing Tony blast apart in a shower of flesh.

“Jesus Christ Scarlet, did you really have to do that over me?” She snickers at Clint's outraged shout over the comms, Phil faintly swearing in the background.

“Sorry, Hawkeye.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, you're as sorry as Natasha when-”

Nobody reacts to the sound of flesh hitting flesh and Steve turns back to Vision. “You are correct, but as the saying goes-”

Tony growls. “Don't you fucking dare, Cap.”

“-when pigs fly.” Hiding behind an upturned car, Steve laughs off the Scarlet Witch's blows, taking her hand to help him back onto his feet. “Oh, and Tony?”

“Yes?”

“Language.”

Wanda watches as Steve relishes in Tony's silence before it is broken. “I hate you.”

“Aw, but Tony, does that mean we can't stare longingly into our eyes after we have been apart for so long?”

Tony splutters for a moment, then grunts, another few squeals screeching through the comms and causing it to crackle dangerously. Vision winces at the foul words Tony spews, Steve straightening as they see him roaring down their street, Phil following closely on the ground as Clint picks off the few pigs lagging behind the main pack. 

“Tony.” Steve holds up his shield, bracing his feet as Tony flips to face the ground, his flight wobbling when an angry looking boar smashes against his side. Regardless, Tony holds out one hand and aims for Steve's shield, letting off a continuous repulsor blast that Steve aims into the pig pack, Vision moving to stand behind him and brace his feet more when he slips.

Sam finally makes an appearance from his perimeter route, leading another smaller pack of pigs, dodging wildly as they screech and try to burn him down. “I swear to god, somebody had better be ready to explain for these flying pigs.”

“I didn't do it!”

“For—I know it wasn't you Tony, Jesus.”

Wanda takes out her comm as a lost cause when the falling of pigs leads to more angry squealing and crackling static. She turns when she hears her name being called, spotting Natasha as she races towards them, waving her arms above her head, pointing to the boar closest to Tony. Nodding, Wanda raises her hands above her head, red glowing around the edges of her vision as Natasha shoots up from the ground, angling herself towards the boar, latching her arms around its neck as it squeals and grunts, dropping away from Tony and the rest of the pack.

When they approach the ground, Natasha jams her hands into the thick folds of fat around the pigs neck, blue sparks on her suit and the sharp crack of electricity bringing the pig dropping to the ground like a stone. Before the rest of the pigs realize what is happening, lightning strikes down from the sky, dark storm clouds gathering as they all fall to the ground beside their boar, hair singed and wings ruffled.

Thor lands in a flash of lightning and thunder, his hammer smashed into the pavement hard enough to shake the surrounding buildings.

“A bit much isn't that, Thor?”

Thor grins. “Not at all, Captain.”

Steve watches as Thor reaches down a large hand to help Natasha to her feet. “My lady Natasha, what a lovely ride that must have been, and a wild one at that.”

She smiles, brushing a lock of hair out of her face. “Indeed it was.”

Stumbling down beside him, Tony flips open his visor, waving one hand around vaguely, “Well, after that I am starved.” He looks around. “Bacon sandwiches anyone?”

Clint shakes his head from behind Phil, counting the arrows left in his quiver, giving Wanda a wide grin as they all circle around Thor's smashed ground. “Only you would say that after fighting fire breathing, flying pigs, Stark.”

“What, no one else was going to say it? I am offended.” Tony takes a step back, Steve slipping a helpful arm around his waist when he seems liable to tip over.

“When you are actually offended Tony, I'm sure you'll make sure we all know.” Tony stares at Wanda as she crosses over to Clint, returning his high five with a grin.

Vision snickers.

“I don't like them bonding, Cap. Make it stop.”

Steve shakes his head fondly, looking at Sam as he chats quietly with Thor and Natasha. Tony chuckles when he sees the wink Sam slips to them, one gauntlet slipping from Steve's waist before a powerful breeze rocks them all on their feet, if not pushing them to the ground.

“What the fuck was that?” Tony frowns down at everyone, Steve gripping his arm hard as Vision puts Wanda back on her feet, Phil and Clint getting off the ground and wiping themselves off. Natasha tilts her head to look down a connecting street, her eyes widening as she jumps into Thor's steady arms.

Another, more powerful breeze goes through them, the wind tearing at their hair and clothes, a heavily accented voice floating gently behind it.

“What, you didn't see that coming?”


End file.
